FICTION BY TIMOTHY WILKIE

Timothy Wilkie is a legend in the Hudson Valley, New York from his days as Rags the Clown. He was a musician with the now defunct Timothy Wilkie Band. He wrote for the Open Door Radio Show on Armed Forces Radio. After what seemed to be a million music tapes and equally as many listening sessions, he finally gave in to his first dream of writing.  

BLOOD BROTHERS
by Timothy Wilkie

I dream about the Lady of the Forest almost every night.

My angel, I call her in my waking hours. I would think about her to the point of obsession. I wondered if she was real, or if I had merely seen a phantom in the forest. But then woods, especially deep woods, are always full of ghosts.

On this night, the moon was big and bright and there was just a touch of a chill in the summer air. I passed the red barn in my BMW and drove down Sister’s Hill past the cemetery that lay next to the large forest known as Bowman’s Woods.

The night was windless as I turned into the driveway of the cottage. I realized this was the first time I had been up here since my brother William’s death. He had suffered a heart attack, but I knew he had seen the Lady of the Forest, and that was what really killed him. He had gone out looking for her and couldn’t handle what he saw.

The cottage on the lake had once been William’s and my escape from the tensions of life and now it was my escape from his death. He and I would always go fishing in the large pond on the property. Even though the pond was not directly outside the cottage door, it could still be seen from that vantage point.

I was tired. Since William’s death, I rarely bothered to get into my bed. I would just fall asleep in front of the TV. This night was no different, except for one thing.

Tonight, my dream was even more vivid than usual. I was walking the path that wound around through the marsh and led to the pond. As I passed over our little bridge, I saw my brother as real as though he was still alive, a fishing pole in his hand. He was mouthing words to me, but as dreams often go, I couldn’t make out what he was saying. I felt apprehensive because I was certain that what he was trying to tell me was something I didn’t want to hear.

I started to feel wet and clammy; I couldn’t tell if I was awake or asleep and my brother kept standing there, almost floating as he continued to speak without words. As many dreams go, I tried to move but I couldn’t, and my heart was pounding in my chest. It felt like there was someone sitting on me and I couldn’t breathe and then it was gone.   

I woke with a start. At first, I didn’t know where I was, then I thought, Oh yes, the cottage. The dream stayed with me for a while as I lay in my bed, and I tried to analyze it. I didn’t understand why I felt a sense of guilt. Perhaps survivor’s guilt?

I opened the door and stepped outside. The air around me hummed with insects as a cool whiff of a breeze skipped across the lake, causing the water to ripple. Suddenly I was surrounded by sparrows. They were all in the reeds on both sides of me. I took a step back.

A mist formed as the world around me started to shift and I wondered if I was going to pass out. Something was different. I realized that everything was now silent; the birds were no longer singing and no insects sounded. Somehow, I knew The Lady was somewhere out there; was she waiting for me to find her?

I leaned over and grabbed my knees to stop my dizziness. My head cleared and I felt an overwhelming urge to finally meet The Lady of the Forest. She was the naked beauty of my dreams, and I needed to discover her mysteries. Somehow, I felt as though I knew her. I was in an odd place of recognizing her yet not recognizing her.

I decided to go to her. It dawned on me that perhaps this was the way William felt right before his death. I suspected he had seen her and tried to go meet her, resulting in his ultimate demise.

A shadow seemed to appear on the water in front of me and a face— distorted by the ripple of the current—and I realized it was the image of my brother. Again he mouthed words I could not hear. A deep sound like a heavy sigh resounded and the face of my brother disappeared into the water’s depths.

I felt terrified that my dead brother was visiting me. I had assumed he was resting in peace. Only a year apart in age, my brother and I shared a close bond. I trusted William. For him to be restless enough to somehow penetrate the boundary between life and death meant something ominous. I fully believed I had seen his ghost and I fully believed he was trying to warn me.

I was standing at the water’s edge, trying to decipher my brother’s message when a thick swarm of flies gathered and landed all over me. They were biting horseflies, the very worst kind. Huge, black, buzzing insects seemed to surround my nose and gather at my eyes. I jumped around and flapped my arms in a desperate attempt to rid myself of the pests. I was losing the battle, so I turned and ran toward the woods. Perhaps once out of the direct sunlight, the flies would dissipate.

Once inside the dimly lit forest, the air immediately smelled cleaner. It must have rained during the night because there were drops of water on the foliage, making a prism-like effect much like an hourglass on each leaf. I could see clearly and wondered if it was the raindrops creating clarity, or if I was in some sort of highly sensitive state.

My brother William had spoken to me from the grave, but I couldn’t hear him. What was he trying to tell me? I had always heard that ghosts roam the earth to pass messages. A cold shiver went down my spine, what my grandmother always called “A goose just walked over my grave.” I never knew what she meant…until now.

The woods seemed dark and haunted but I felt compelled to keep going into its depths. Something important was waiting for me there. It was one of those eerie days where you don’t want to look behind you for fear of what might be creeping up on you. What might be lying in wait just beyond the corner of my eye?

There were creatures hiding in the foliage; the undergrowth rustled. I felt strange as though I was really high but I hadn’t smoked anything. I felt like I was gazing through a broken window that was only one-way glass.

And then I saw her. The Lady of the Forest.

She was surrounded by mist. I stopped moving, not wanting to scare her off. I needed to confront the ghost of my dreams. I had obsessed about her for so long that I wanted closure. I wanted to find out why she occupied so much of my mind. I felt she was the key to my life falling apart. I wanted to know why she had a hold on my emotions.

Seeing her shimmering in the mist, I had a wave of recognition, yet she was a stranger. I had a strange sense of guilt, yet I had done nothing wrong.

And then suddenly, a shadow figure was right behind her. I knew it was a man and he too seemed familiar. The man grabbed her and dragged her to the forest floor, where he pulled off her dress and she was naked. He mounted her. The familiarity of the man gripped me with pain. Was it William? But that was impossible! No one was gentler in life than my brother. Right? Suddenly I wasn’t so sure.

I had to turn away when I saw the flash of a knife’s blade. But I couldn’t look away long. I had to know if my brother was a murderer!

I was startled to realize that the knife was held in the hand of a second man that now approached, not the one attacking The Lady. Maybe William was not the murderer after all!

And then I was horrified to realize that the knife was in my hand. I seemed to be merging into the mist and what I was seeing became what was really happening. I watched myself plunge the knife into my brother William.

No! That was impossible! William had died of a heart attack! He did he did he did!

Then I stopped thinking of my brother. Something became more urgent in my mind. Now The Lady of the Forest was mine. I approached the beautiful naked woman who was trying to get to her feet, frantically reaching for her dress.

I told her to get back down onto the forest floor.

Without any warning she spit in my face. Enraged at her disobedience, I raised the hand holding the knife. I had sacrificed my brother for my prize. How dare her to not understand and appreciate that!

Rage engulfed me. She deserved to die, whoever she was.

*****

Suddenly I was back in the forest, standing all alone. I desperately tried to process what I had just experienced during that dream-like trance. Ghosts always returned to earth to tell a message. I received this message loud and clear.

I thought about all the times my brother had been mean to me. I remembered the times he had been cruel to animals, then I remembered that I had often joined him in that cruelty.

I had stuffed all the negative memories about William once I murdered him. In their place, I viewed my brother as a benevolent figure that would harm no one. Now I realize he had never had a heart attack. It was me who killed him. It was me who killed The Lady of the Forest, dooming her ghost to roam the woods eternally.

My guilt had not allowed me to see reality. It certainly would not allow me to remember that William was an attempted rapist and I was a murderer twice-over. I had suppressed the truth and replaced it with a benevolent mental illusion.

This new reality included the fact that I had buried both bodies and reported William as missing. The Lady never made the news, which meant that her body had never been found.

I stood still for a moment, processing the shock of knowledge.

Then I shook my head. What nonsense! William was a nice guy who suffered a heart attack, and I had never murdered anyone. The Lady of the Forest was an unknown ghost that I had never met. What could possibly have made me think otherwise?