POETRY BY XTINA MARIE

Xtina Marie is the author of eight poetry books to date, and has contributed to numerous poetry anthologies. She is the co-founder of HellBound Books Publishing. On Thursday evenings at 10:30 pm EST, you can find her on the Panic Room Radio Show. The easiest place to find her would be Facebook, but she still misses Tom and Myspace.

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/XtinaMarie4031
Panic Room: http://www.panicroomradio.com/
HellBound Books: https://www.hellboundbookspublishing.com/

REPAIRS

Try as I might
I could never
fix
what you
broke

and I stopped
trying
when I realized
it was
never mine
to repair

WE WERE HERE

Let’s hop in
the car
without
packing,
no destination
in mind—
just drive
until we
find some
cheap motel
with
questionable
art on the
wall
and a
dried-up pool
out back…
we’ll kiss
and touch
and fuck
on the scratchy
bedspread
before falling
asleep
in each other’s
arms…
we’ll wake
before the sun
and eat stale
Fritos
from the
vending machine
for breakfast
after scrawling
a note on
the bathroom mirror
that says
we were here

…AND I SHIVER

I watch you
from the
reflection
of the mirror,
following your
movements
and tracing
every line
of your face
with my eyes

because—

it’s you
but it’s
horrifyingly

not you

a deep fake
a fraud
a cruel imitation
of the person
I know so well,
the person
I love

and I am filled
with equal parts
fear and
excitement

maybe
I am seeing
the hidden parts
of you,
the things that
you hope
no one ever
finds out…
and what if I
find things that
can help me
understand you
better?

but what if

what if
I am seeing
some evil
doppelganger,
a clone,
an imposter
that hides
in your
reflection
and wishes to
crossover
to this world
if given the
opportunity

I lie next to you
in bed at night
and wonder
about that scar—
the one high
on your left shoulder,
the one that
I could swear
used to be
on your right

…and I shiver